My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
