Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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