well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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