mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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