someone get that fucking seahorse.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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