Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
