Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
