let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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