Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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