He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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