Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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