Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
