he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
