Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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