he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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