I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
