An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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