would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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