I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
