Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
