Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
