the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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