let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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