...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
