She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
