After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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