dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
