He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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