If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize