she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
