You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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