you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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