Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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