You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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