I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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