Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
