i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Drake has all the answers
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
