I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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