i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
