remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
