dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
