i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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