Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
