hotel room ftw
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
