While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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