He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
