i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
