Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
