Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
