So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
