If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
