My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
