lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
