You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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