i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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