is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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