Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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