Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
