pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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