i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
